Be Kind To You

How did we become our own worst critics?  The world is tough enough without looking at ourselves with the critical eye that sows thoughts so harsh and unloving that you'd think they were aimed at a mortal enemy. Language in our heads that we would never say to our children, our best friends or any loved one for that matter. 

When is enough, enough?  When are we enough? Somewhere along the lines of development our visions of ourselves became grotesquely askew and beg for a break in that endless cycle of negative toxic thoughts. 

So when do we stop these patterns of self doubt and self abhorrence and start a new conversation in our heads that embraces what we love about ourselves and feel grateful for what is?  

How about today? Focus on being healthy.  Focus on expanding our lives and hearts with people and experiences that will enrich & fulfill.  Walk away from the mirror and base our day on how we're feeling inside.  Appreciate & be a sponge for the beauty around us and the joy of being on this earth. Look to gain knowledge and share a laugh.  Look to share a kindness and sow goodness in the world. Start a new language in our heads that says, " I am blessed to be alive.  I am grateful for today.  I will not waste another second on being unkind to me.  I am more than enough." 

Aim for "Pretty Damn Good" and then move on with our day because we've got other things to think about.    

Down but not Out!

Life is funny as it reveals itself.  Two steps forward, one step back. Perhaps the thing I value most in myself though is the ability to pick myself and give it another go.  I haven't always been proud of my missteps but I do believe in the constant opportunity to do it better the next time.

Recently, I start a Reboot as I was just feeling really crappy and had gotten off track.  Then I got a business head shot of myself back and was completely shocked.  My face was so bloated that I didn't resemble myself.  I sent the pic over to two of my gal pals and they immediately responded and wondered if it was the anti depressant I had started a few months back.

Five months prior I'd hit the wall with so much going on in our lives and the Dr. put me on a mild script.    It was the first time I'd ever tried anything like it but I had to admit that I needed some help and didn't have it all figured out this time.  Turned out that same day I went to have my head shot taken and when I got it, I didn't care for it but I figured I'd have it redone at some point., which ended up being two weeks ago.  See the side by side below for what can happen in 5 months.

                         Picture on the right was last October.  Picture on the left was two weeks ago.

So I started a Reboot and went to the Dr.s.and as it turns out over the past five months my weight had only fluctuated by 2 lbs.  The face inflammation is caused by the medicine so I'm slowing being weaned off of it for the time being.

Two weeks in to my Reboot and I got hammered by a flu bug this week.  Could barely get out of bed for a few days.  Now starting to feel normal and will START AGAIN tomorrow.

Here's what I've learned.  Take pictures of yourself!  They tell so much about your health and well being.  I'm so grateful that I had these two pics to compare.  If I hadn't I might never have realized what was happening to me.

Secondly, I feel not shame in my game.  Rebooting is now a part of my life and so is Starting Over. Shit happens in life and sometimes we just need a do over.

Onward and forward!

Wobbly Bits

                                                       

Tonight I made it to the gym.  Truly a hit or miss situation week to week, but I'm trying to get in there and get my sweat on.  

I went into to Spin Class, found my bike and proceeded to warm up.  Today I wore shorts, which I rarely do anymore but my long stretchy work out pants were dirty so shorts it was.  

Hopped on the spin bike and started to peddle when I look down and my wobbly bits or "thigh biscuits" as Tina Fey so aptly named them were rubbing on either side of my bike seat with each spin of the peddle.  All I could think of once class started was, "Well this is going to hurt."  

Made it through an hour of a Marine type spin instructor yelling out bike tensions and telling us to "blast" each drill. Tension on a bike for those of you that haven't taken spin is on a scale from 1-25, with 1 being easy peasy and 25 being the hill from hell.  My idea of tension as I easy back into the process of working out is about 9-13, give or take on the drill. This guy starts us at 15 and quickly moves us to 22. Sweat was literally pouring off of me to the point that I my grip almost slipped on my handlebars.  

In the meantime, my inner thighs are neon red.  Not a bit red but they were literally screaming at me and I can not repeat what they were saying. All I could do was hobble off my bike and get my ass home. Easing into my bath stung like a thousand needles but oddly enough I felt like I won a small battle.  I finished spin class and I didn't die.  

The best part about tonight is that I realized that the conversations in my head are starting to change.  Where I used to mentally beat myself up over my muffin top or thigh biscuits, now it's becoming something I can laugh at and laughing at ourselves is always a good thing, right?  Now I feel like it's all okay because I'm in the zone and doing something about it.  I'm not looking for nor have I ever had the perfect body but damn it if I don't want to see what the healthiest me looks like.  Just once. :)

Water! Water! Water! ( Say it 3x's fast and it sounds funny.)

"Water is the essence of wetness." Zoolander

I am a Pee Queen, koo koo catchu.  

How does anybody get anything done????  Don't get me wrong, I love how I feel juicing & eating clean.  Already feeling lighter & brighter and a part of that has to be that I'm peeing all the dang time!

I don't know if my bladder is exceptionally small.  Or maybe my internal organs are just extraordinary at eliminating waste.  What I do know is that I have visited every stall of the ladies restroom at my office, just to have some variance in my day.  You think I'm kidding?

Along with juicing, this Reboot I am focused on drinking my water. I don't think I hit the appropriate marker last go round and this time I really want to nail down the details. Give myself the best Reboot to date!  

So why drink water???????????  So many reasons.....let me count the ways.  

1. Removes toxins.  How HUGE is that??  We are literally giving toxins a slip n' slide to get the hell out.  Love that!
2. Raises your Energy!  Because you're going to need it going to the bathroom all day.  Joking. ;)
3. Reduces risk of Cancer.  Colon Cancer by 45% and Prevention Magazine states that, "Drinking plenty of water and other liquids may reduce the risk of bladder cancer by diluting the concentration of cancer-causing agents in urine and helping to flush them through the bladder faster. Drink at least 8 cups of liquid a day, suggests the American Cancer Society."  Makes sense.  Cancer thrives in an acidic stagnate state so keep flushing your body & know that all of this water consumption is serving a purpose.
4. Promotes healthy skin & heart.  If our bodies are made up of 50-65% water on average makes sense that when our skin starts looking drab it may be from dehydration. What we often forget is that our hearts are working every moment of every day and when we let ourselves become dehydrated we are taxing the very muscle we need most.  
5. Prevents infections and arthritis!  

So when the nation as a whole started drinking more soda than water a day, is it any wonder that we've seen illness & obesity hit epidemic proportions?  Makes me do more than think.  Makes me fill up my cup and drink more water.  

Cheers!

Finding Your Groove

Starting Day 5 and I'm starting to find my groove again.  Here are a few things that I have found to work for & maybe there will be something here that helps you. There are several plans for Rebooting. I have found the plan that helps me settle in for the long run is to do the following:

• Wake Up - Always a good start. ;) 
• Have a cup of hot water with lemon.
• Have a Mean Green.  Approx. 16 ounces
• Mid-Morning get my daily intake of water going.  
• Lemon & Cucumber water throughout the day.
• Afternoon Juice - 16 oz.
• Early Evening Juice - 16 oz  (
• Lean Dinner:  Typically a large green salad, any veggies available, two eggs, fish or whatever protein you prefer.  
• I allow a few olives or a pickle to add some salt.  
• Herbal tea before bed along with finishing another large glass of water.

• 

  Sriracha hot sauce adds a bit of spice which I love.  

• Water is key.  Drink as much as possible through out the day.
• Have your morning juice ready to go, at the very least.  I typically wake up pretty hungry.
• Stay away from commercials or any advertisements for food in the first week.
• Try and watch one documentary a week to keep your mind in the zone.
• Find your favorite 2-3 juices and make sure you have one every day.  When you have a juice that you love, you'll feel more satiated and less deprived.
• Stay ahead of feeling hungry.  Drink water all day and have a juice every 3-4 hours.  If you keep your stomach full, you'll be more in control and less likely to grab something not on your plan.
• Read.  Putting good things in your head and focusing on what your goals are is a huge help. Read as much as you can about nutrition and why juicing & / or clean eating is a path to your best health.
• Sign up for support groups online and with friends and family.  People of like mind get what your going through.  Joe's Reboot page offers up a support group and there are some fantastic FB support groups which are a tremendous resource. If you are having doubts or a moment of weakness or if you need a new recipe and you just like hearing about someone's success and struggles having finding your juicing people is a huge help.  
• Lemons & limes.  They are not only wonderful for you but for those juices that you may struggle with, they will help them to taste so much better.  
• Go for a walk before bed.  If you live somewhere it's freezing out, try and get some stretching in for your body and muscles that are working hard with you to transition into your new lifestyle
• Go to bed early.  If you are a late night eater and crave something in the after dinner hours...do yourself a favor and go to bed early.  Learn to do other things that will help soothe your soul and fill your proverbial cup.  A hot bath.  A good read.  Whatever works for you.  Focus on quality sleep as it's during these down hours that your body is cleansing and rejuvenating for tomorrow.  
• Last but not least:  I have done a week Reboot with just juicing and the weight did fall off faster when just juicing.  After my first Reboot I added in one clean eating meal a day and that made such a big difference to me.  From there I could not be social with friends and save that meal to have if we went out to dinner on the weekends.  That one meal a day gave me the added nutrition that allows me to exercise as well as I never feel deprived which allows me to stay the path much longer.  I do lose weight slower but for me it's not just about the scale.  Yes, losing weight is a benefit of choosing this path, but losing weight is a reflection of better health and it's the better health that I have my eye on.  Cheers to your health!  Juice on!

Carrot, Butternut Squash, Apple & Sweet Potato
Large bag of Carrots
One large peeled & cored butternut squash
Two large apples (Fuji)
One large peeled Sweet Potato

Just Start

Good Morning Mother Juicers! 

Checking in on Day 4.  This ReBoot has a different feel with some definitive self truths coming to surface.

1.  A ReBoot for me really means one day at a time.  

I cannot tackle more than today as it's then that I start to feel deprived.  Focusing in the moment and recognizing that each choice I make, is all mine.  

2.  Going through a Reboot really is a my choice and no one else's.

When I'm in the zone, what I mean by that is that mentally I have locked into what what I need, what I want and what it takes.  Every time I cook a meal for the family or head out to dinner with my husband, each decision is mine.  That's empowering as no one is forcing my hand.

3.  Every temptation presented to me in any given moment really carries no power when I can look at that particular food and say to myself:  You can have _________  anytime you want.  You could have 10 of them if you wanted.  It's your choice and in truth, you don't want ______ because you've already had that particular fix and it did nothing for you but make you feel worse.  

4.  A ReBoot is very much about getting in tune with yourself.  It requires that you slow down and listen to your own thoughts.  It requires that you identify your goals and that you continually focus on being in the zone.

5.  A Reboot requires you to Start.  I have but off getting back in the zone for so long and I'm not sure why.  Starting on day 4 already feel better.  I already feel my confidence growing and feeling physical & mental changes.  I just had to start, again.

Progress, not perfection.  :)

Starting Over

So when you have food addiction as a common thread in your life it's not like you can just stop eating.  Nope.  It's the one addiction that you have to conquer within the confines of addiction and change your mindset and then your behaviors.

One year into Juicing & Clean Eating with many trials and tribulations, I decided that counseling was the next reasonable step so that I could deal with any of the mental crap and work through it.  After about four sessions, I kicked things up a notch and booked a double appointment.  Figured I had gotten to a place where I trusted the counselor and could lay it all out there for her to help me schlep through all the crap.

Oh was it a humdinger.  It's amazing what can happen when you decide to "go there".  I really felt like my insides were going to burst open and although there was a lot of good work done in there as I walked out of the office my first reaction was, "I'm starving!!!".

On auto-pilot I drove to a Carls Jr. and ordered up my favorite combo.  I hadn't had one in a year and yet I didn't stumble or hesitate.  They gave me my food and forgot my ranch dressing.  So I parked, got out of my car, walked back in and asked for my dressing.  Once I was back behind the wheel I devoured that combo like it was the last burger and onion rings on the planet.  Ate so fast that the crap had barely hit my stomach before I felt nauseous.  Weird mixture of elation....the feeling I get when I am physically full and nausea from eating what equated to a chemical shit storm in a bag.

Had a good cry and felt incredibly tired.  Picked up our son from school, went home to work for a couple of hours and then found myself ravenous again.  Proceeded to down 4 tacos and a bag of candy and then went to bed.

Woke up at 2a.m. bathed in sweat as I am going through hot flashes like crazy and realized that I was in crisis.  I know where this path leads and I cannot go back.  I have to do the work that counseling will entail but I have to have my coping mechanisms in place so that I can come out on the other side of this and not be physically derailed.

So here I am.  Starting over.  Day 1 of a Reboot.  Cold turkey in terms of not having weaned myself off of C.R.A.P. but recognizing that I need to get on task pronto.  Not time to f*ckabout.