About six months into Madison's modeling career, I could sense that Maddie was getting the itch for change. At 14, our girl hates to be generic, hates normalcy or any kind of conformity. If the group goes right, I know she's going left. Already the dress code at school was getting tested on a daily basis. It's mandatory to wear collared shirts....but it doesn't say anything about paint smeared jeans, short shorts with crazy colored tights, punk shirts with questionable sayings on top of the collared shirts and make up that says, "I'm going clubbing" or "I hate my parents".
I do realize that it's the parents responsibility to monitor and provide guidance. But I have to say that after months of sending her upstairs to change, which in turn means we're typically late to school, I could feel myself budging here and there. They say it's smart to pick your battles; save your energy for the times that you really need it. When I thought about what Maddie witnesses when modeling, clothing ideas by stylists for various shoots, every walk of life imaginable,I also recognized that this is a part of what Maddie is absorbing, being around these creative people and getting a feel for being avant-garde, even if it doesn't mesh with our small town and her even smaller high school. On top of which, adding my 2cents as to what looks good and what doesn't, barely registers as Maddie has lovingly coined both Erik and I "preppy". Which may have worked back in the 80's but by our daughters definition, means we're boring parents who think color coordination is a good thing.
So there we are...her parents...Erik and Arlene. Those preppy people that appreciate matching and innately know that paisley doens't blend with plaid. That was until Maddie got a hold of her clothes and decided anything goes. But somehow...that wasn't enough for her. The clothes and the make up just didn't cut it. The problem was her hair. Nope. Can't quite cut the whole punk look if the hair is long, blonde and beautiful.
I started getting the long whines of she wanted to color her hair starting in Jr. High. But now Maddie was positive that the only thing standing between being completely original and being non existent was changing her hair color. She wanted black hair in one breath or deep red in the next. Maybe streaks? "Come on MOM!! I hate my hair!!!" "You don't understand!!!" I stood firm. Next thing I know...she's teasing the top of her hair to go to school so that it looks like she had a bad night of sleep, rolled out of bed and walked out the door. Only I knew that it took some skill and hairspray to get her "do" to do what it did.
I was at a loss. I would have killed for her hair back in the day or any other day. My only fall back was her booker at Ford wouldn't like it. That her modeling book with all the pics she'd amassed thus far wouldn't work if she colored her hair. So after much pleading by Maddie and knowing that I was keeping her from being the ultimately cool girl she was meant to be, I gave it to her straight. "Modeling is your choice. If you decide you don't want to model anymore and you would rather give it up so you can be more experimental at home with your hair, than that's fine. But it's one or the other. You can't do both." After some thought, I could see the wheels turning in her brain and she responded, "Fine." Which I took to mean that she got it. Not.
Maddie had a friend over to spend the night one weekend. She kept her hair clipped back and up in a ponytail so it wasn't until Monday morning when surprisingly she was already downstairs ready for school, that I noticed her hair looked different. So I asked her what she did different...trying to see if she'd pinned it back on the top because she had somehow created a shag on top with the bottom remaining long. If you can remember the Bay City Rollers do back in the 70's, then you can get a vague sense of what I'm talking about. I walked over to look closer and she took a few steps backwards....when suddenly it hit me. She'd cut her hair. Or I should say, she hacked her hair. There were pieces on top that wouldn't quite lie flat because she'd cut it so short. Other pieces that were chopped in one section and then long in the next. I couldn't believe it. Maddie just stood there staring at me defiantly until even she had to acknowledge that she'd screwed up. She didn't admit it right away, but the tears were there and I knew that she knew she was in trouble.
We drove to school in silence. I just didn't have any words to say how pissed off I was. She knew I was livid. How in the hell does a kid who has been given a tremendous opportunity to model with a top agency just to say screw it and chop off her hair??? It was beyond me. I told her I was calling Ford and letting her booker know and that she was going to have to explain herself, in person. But even worse than that, Maddie was going to have to tell her dad. That's when the tears started flowing.
I called Ford and gave Meg a heads up. I could hear in her voice her surprise and then she started laughing. "She did what?" she asked again. "Seriously? Well how bad is it?" "Okay, bring her up so I can see her in person." We drove up to Ford the next day because Maddie had a shoot coming up and I wasn't sure if it had to be cancelled. When Meg saw Maddie, she took her hands through Maddie's hair and just shook her head. She told Maddie that she could not cut her hair again if she wanted to get work. She took Maddie off the books for about 4 weeks until some of it could grow out long enough to style.
There were many weeks ahead where Maddie just cried about her hair and then there were days where she'd get compliments and feel justified in what she did. The long and the short of it is.....it's just hair. Hair grows back and although we now know that Maddie's hair doesn't grow all that fast, it does grow back. Looking a little deeper, once the initial anger subsided, I realized that Maddie sense of self was stronger than her need for being a model. She needs to be more than a pretty face on a page. This modeling gig is cool but unless she see's the value it really doesn't matter. She's not going to conform into anyone's ideas of what she should be. Nope, Madison's going to figure it out on her own and even if that means there will be some lumps and bumps along the way. She's willing to push the boundaries and ultimately I admire that quality in her.
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